Internet Anagram Server : How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria (The Sound of Music)

(How Do You Solve A Problem Like) Maria
from The Sound of Music

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to Mass
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair
I even heard her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel
But her penitence is real
She's always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey

I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I'm with her I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!

She'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel!
She's a girl!

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

BLEAK HOUSE

To Spain, I went on holiday,
I don't recall just where,
The village was so tiny
And the scenery so bare,
The name of it escapes me,
It was miles from anywhere,
I'd gone to seek some blissful relaxation.

The old house where I stayed was very
Small and made of stone,
It did not have a TV, no
It did not have a phone,
The taps were hard to shift - I
Wrenched them on, they gave a groan,
As water dribbled out, a brownish khaki.

Next day, alas, dealt me a real harsh blow;
Bad spasms down below...

How do you solve a problem like diarrhoea?
When you are miles away from any town?
Without a car (a cab had brought me here)
And nothing to take to calm all those gases down?

Many a stash I found inside the larder,
Many a can of beans; a loaf of bread,
But, sadly, no Diocalm,
Ha! Nary a handy balm,
Only some pills to ease an aching head.

So, how do you solve a problem like diarrhoea?
Rush to the john then take yourself to bed!

But the sleep it would not come,
My severely anguished bum
Was employed on active duty thrice an hour,
Unpredictab-a-ly churning,
My internals kept on turning,
As I prayed for help from some high superpower.

How I wished a pharmacy
Could be in that house with me,
How I wished I was at home, oh, how I wished!
But the overriding issue -
Was the dwindling toilet tissue,
When I looked, the final roll was
Oh...finished.

How do you solve a problem like diarrhoea?
When you are miles away from anywhere?
How do you make a healing panacea?
When all you have's a loaf and beans to spare?

So many thoughts rush through my achy forehead
So many salvos shake my sulky tum,
I wish I could run and hide
I wish I could turn the tide
So I could halt these harsh, sulfurous 'runs'.

How do you solve a problem like diarrhoea?
Try kamikaze? Yes! Hoorah! Bye bye.