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AWADmail Issue 389December 13, 2009A Weekly Compendium of Feedback on the Words in A.Word.A.Day and Tidbits about Words and Language
From: Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
SPELLING TEACHER JUSTLY FIRED -- WON'T DOT AN I
She receives a copy of the board game WildWords, courtesy WildWords Game Company. A runner-up prize of "I'd Rather Be Grammatically Correct" T-shirt courtesy Uppityshirts goes to Lea Osborne of Zug, Switzerland (buttlea logic.bm) for the headline
"I AM NOT DEAD," TEXTS EDWARD KENNEDY
Dennis Burke of Phoenix, Arizona (burkephoenix gmail.com) imagined AWAD readers busy writing rhopalic headlines:
AN ODD WORD HOBBY CAUSES WRITERS' COMPLETE ISOLATION, ALIENATION, CORROBORATE PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGISTS
Read on for more rhopalic fun, a selection from the entries readers sent: Historical:
I AM NOT SOME CROOK, STATES CORRUPT POLITICO ANSWERING ALLEGATION COMBATIVELY
(Refer)
Topical:-Benjamin Littenberg, Burlington, Vermont (blittenberg comcast.net)
"UNSINKABLE" STEAMSHIP FOUNDERS, ICEBERG BLAMED
AL HAD IFFY CHADS, GEORGE COURTED SUPREMES; BUSHWORLD TRIUMPHANT
"I AM NOT LOST, WROTE DOCTOR" - VETERAN INTREPID NEWSHOUND EVENTUALLY DISCOVERING LIVINGSTONE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
(Refer)
"I DO SEE THAT SANTA EXISTS!" ASSERTS VIRGINIA
(Refer)
"I AM NOT DEAD," TWAIN REBUTS ARTICLE ALLEGING OTHERWISE
I AM THE KING: ELVIS
"I DO," SAY DUKE, NEWLY MINTED DUCHESS FERGUSON, NUPTIALLY CONCLUDING WESTMINSTER CELEBRATIONS, FOREORDAINING PROGNOSTICATED DISILLUSIONMENT, INCOMPREHENSIBLE MISCOMMUNICATIONS, DEWINDSORIFICATION
"I AM THE BEST BOXER," STATES CASSIUS
"I BE BAD!" SAYS FAMED SINGER, FAILING AUDITION MISERABLY, EXPRESSING GRAMMATICAL BEFUDDLEMENT
(Refer)
"E TU, TOO," SAYS JULES, WHILST STABBED BRUTALLY
AN ELF PUTS GIFTS BESIDE SEVERED CONIFERS OVERNIGHT, HOMEOWNERS UNDISTURBED SURPRISINGLY, JOLLIFICATION TRANSFORMATIVE
Misc.-Tom Riley, Pittstown, New York (triley osc.state.ny.us)
NEW PRES SENDS TROOPS HEADING EASTWARD: DECLARING INDEFINITE WITHDRAWALS, SIMULTANEOUS EXTRAMILITARY RESPONSIBILITY
OBAMA BEGINS SENDING SOLDIERS, PACIFISTS BEWILDERED
WE GET SICK WHILE CLUMSY ELECTED CONGRESS POSTPONES HEALTHCARE DEVELOPMENT
VORACIOUSLY DIALOGUING RIGHTWARD, NEBRASKA SENATOR NELSON CURBS HOPE FOR US
OBAMA HEALTH REFORMS OVERHAUL SUCCEEDED
AMERICAN DECIDER BARACK OBAMA WINS THE NP!
IN THE NEWS TODAY: BARACK AWARDED ULTIMATE NORWEGIAN PEACEMAKER RECOGNITION, CELEBRATIONS REINVIGORATED COSMOPOLITANIST INTERNATIONALISM
PRESIDENT NOBELIST REMINDS: BEFORE PEACE CAME WAR, NO?
"CO2 CURB COULD CHANGE CLIMATE CAULDRON" CONCLUDES COPENHAGEN
COPENHAGEN: COUNTRIES CONSIDER CLIMATE CHANGE; CLASH OVER CAP ON C
NO CO2 SAYS COP15, GLOBAL LEADERS' APPROVAL UNANIMOUS
WE ALL MUST FIGHT GLOBAL WARMING
INCREASINGLY OPINIONATED SCIENTISTS: UNUSUALLY DRAMATIC CLIMATE CHANGE RISKS SEEN FOR US; WE CAN HELP SOLVE CRISIS THROUGH CREATING INTENSIVE INCENTIVES
COPENHAGEN DISCUSSES CLIMATES: HOTTEST, HOTTER, TEPID - BEAT GAS!
KEEN OBAMA SECRET SERVICE EMPLOYEE DISCOVERS, APPREHENDS UNDOUBTEDLY ENTHUSIASTIC PARTY-CRASHERS
PRESIDENTIAL SPECULATION INCREASING FOLLOWING FRIENDLY MIDWEST PACKED PALIN TOUR
"I AM ONE FOXY MAMMA!" FORMER ALASKAN GOVERNOR CONFESSES
I DO NOT WANT PEACE SHOUTS TALIBAN MINISTER
BIG BOMB BLAST BURIES BAGHDAD
"I AM NOT WEAK": OBAMA DEFIES NEOCONS CLAIMING PRESIDENT DISREGARDS INTREPIDITY, FEARLESSNESS DETERMINATION
"I DO" FOR GAYS DRAWS HEATED REBUFFS: ALLOWING COMMITTED HOMOSEXUAL PARTNERSHIP AGGLOMERATES BELLICOSITIES
"I AM NOT THAT CRAZY," CLAIMS PATRICK, REFUSING HIBERNIAN ENGAGEMENT INDIGNANTLY, PROTESTINGLY, RHETORICIZING FEMINISTICALLY
NOTWITHSTANDING FRANCOPHOBIACS, LESMISERABLES THEATRE-GOERS UNASHAMEDLY, FREQUENTLY APPLAUDED VALJEAN'S TEARFUL, SOFTLY MUTED SONG "WHO AM I?"
"GLOBAL WARMING FANCIFUL," SCIENTIST CHALLENGES GOVERNMENTS
VAMPIRES DELIGHT! TWEENS/TEENS ACHE FOR ED!
A BY THE BOOK MOVIE: MEYER'S VAMPIRE DRAINING
ON THE WARS, OBAMA CLAIMS CHENEY'S PRESSURE NULLIFIED
I AM NOT "YOUR DAILY BEGGAR", CAROLER EXCLAIMS!
A NO-FLY ZONE PLANE FLIGHT CAUSING MILITARY COMMANDER TREMENDOUS TREPIDATION INVESTIGATED
THE WORD OBAMA UTTERS BECOMES CURRENCY
DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT, CONGRESS SCORNED; PUBLIC DEEMS BOTH GET AN 'F'
TO GET MORE MONEY, GREEDY BANKERS STEALING AMERICANS' PROPERTIES
ALL HOPE FADES: GLOBAL WARMING QUARRELS FRUSTRATE COPENHAGEN DELEGATIONS. CATASTROPHES UNPREVENTABLE!
"IN ALL BEST CASES, EARTH'S WARMING SCENARIO AVOIDABLE," SCIENTISTS ERRONEOUSLY HYPOTHESIZED
GLOBAL WARMING SPEECHES AWAKENING COPENHAGEN CONSCIENCES
ICE, SNOW CAUSE TRAVEL WORRIES: SHOPPING, CHRISTMAS THREATENED
I DO - MAN WEDS WOMAN
Tiger Woods:-Todd Norby, Seattle, Washington (todd.norby continentalmills.com)
"I DO NOT CARE", AVOWS SHRINK HEARING PATIENT'S TESTIMONY DESCRIBING PSYCHIATRIC INCOMPETENCE, INSENSITIVITY
SCRABBLE TOURNEY RUINED: FINAL GAME HAS NO 'X'
A IS THE BEST VOWEL: SURVEY
A US BOY GETS EATEN WITHIN FAMILY'S AQUARIUM
PRISONER WRONGLY JAILED: ERROR WITH DNA
"I AM THE LAST ALIVE PERSON," CLAIMED SURVIVOR EXCITEDLY
"I AM GOD," SAYS OBAMA
SNOW FALLS ACROSS COUNTRY, BLIZZARD SHROUDING CONTINENTS
A BI CAN DATE EVERY FRIEND
I DO, SHE DOES: BASIC CHORES SHARING IMPROVES LONG-TERM MARRIAGE, OVERALL STRESS DROPS FROM SIX TO 1
MIKE HAIRY JUNIOR SMASHED PUMPKINS
A MA FOR ONLY WEEKS, FABLED STARLET ABANDONS OFFSPRING, RENOUNCING BIRTHRIGHTS
"I DO," SAY AREA WOMEN. LOCALS DECIDED STATUTES RATIFYING HOMOSEXUAL UNIFICATION UNPREJUDICED; INCONTESTABLY CONSTITUTIONAL
BY THE TAIL, TIGER CAUGHT, AFFAIRS A-PLENTY
Meta:-Melissa VanRaden (mvanraden q.com)
A NO WIN HOLE SENDS TIGER'S POPULAR APPROVAL ASSUREDLY PLUMMETING
"I AM NOT PURE!" TIGER ADMITS WITHOUT SERENELY DISPUTING PRODIGIOUS ALLEGATIONS
A SO FAR TAME TIGER SUBTLY LAMENTS AFFAIRES INVOLVING WAITRESSES, RELUCTANTLY ACKNOWLEDGED UNENLIGHTENED TRANSGRESSIONS DISAPPOINTINGLY
"I AM HOT, GIRL," TIGER
IN NEW BOOK, TIGER ADMITS ILLICIT LIAISONS, ASHAMEDLY RECOUNTING INDULGENCES
IN HIS LIFE, TIGER LOSING CONTROL, SCRUTINY ESCALATES RUTHLESSLY, COMPATRIOTS CONJECTURING TITILLATINGLY!
TIGER'S "CHEETAH" DISGUISE
I AM NOT SURE TIGER WANTED MARITAL PROBLEMS EXPOUNDED NATIONALLY PRACTICALLY CONTINUOUSLY
"I AM THE BEST PRIMO GOLFER DESPITE ABERRANT BEHAVIORS"
"I AM GAY," SAYS TIGER DURING GOLFING MAGAZINE INTERVIEW
AS THE ONCE "TIGER" SPIRIT CRASHES, WOODS SEES ADS GO
A MR ANU GARG DARES PUBLIC: PRODUCE RHOPALIC HEADLINES
If you haven't had your fill of real and imaginary headlines, check out
the results of a univocalic headline contest from last year.
Thanks to all who participated. I'll sign off with this headline, sent by Harriot Massey (hhmassey cox.net)-Robert A. Barbato (brbarbato yahoo.com)
O MY! ANU GARG MAKES SUPERB CONTEST -- RHOPALIC NEWSPAPER HEADLINERS -- STIMULATING COMPOSITIONS
I AM NOT SURE, WOULD ANYONE COMPOSE RHOPALIC SENTENCES?
WE MAY FIND QUICK SOLACE SEEKING RHOPALIC SYMBOLISM, SPECIFYING MEANINGLESS, CONCATENATED PHRASEOLOGIES
"I DO NOT WANT DROSS WITHIN EMAILED RHOPALIC SENTENCES," DESIGNATES CYBERSPACE'S INCOMPARABLE LEXICOGRAPHER
AS ANU GARG URGES, MYRIAD CUNNING RHOPALIC HEADLINES -- BESPEAKING INNUMERABLE INTELLECTUAL MANIPULATIONS -- SUBSTANTIALIZE, LEXICOLOGICALLY CIRCUMAMBULATING COMPREHENSIBILITY
ANU GARG MAKES BANNER CONTEST RHOPALIC!
RHOPALIC SENTENCES INFILTRATE PLAINSPOKEN CONVERSATION: CONTAMINATION UNCONTROLLABLE!
ANU GARG SCANS MYRIAD READERS' RHOPALIC HEADLINES
DC MAN SETS WORLD RECORD, BEATING RHOPALIC WORDSMITH WUNDERKIND
US GAL WINS, SENDS CLEVER CONTEST RHOPALIC HEADLINES
ANU GARG FINDS WORLD'S KEENEST RHOPALIC COMPOSING CONTESTANT
CULTIVATED WORDSMITH REWARDED CONTEST WINNER BOARD GAME: 'IT'S NO T'
I AM THE TWIT WHOSE EFFORT TOWARDS RHOPALIC SENTENCES COMPETITION TRANSGRESSES SENSIBILITIES, OBSCURANTICISM NOTWITHSTANDING
HI ANU, THIS EMAIL OFFERS CONCISE RHOPALIC GRATITUDE. -WORDSMITH'S ENTHUSIASTS
PEACE BRINGS EARTHLY PARADISE
Misc comments:
I never knew there was a word for it, but my daughter and son-in-law have
rhopalic daughters: Vayda, Violet, Valerie and Victoria! (They were followed
by a surgical procedure which follows both rules.)
-Sally Keefe (sally4keefe roadrunner.com)
I don't have a newspaper headline, but the contest reminded me of a rhopalic
poem that captured my imagination years ago, I can't remember who wrote it,
but here goes:
Though not strictly rhopalic at all, I find the accumulative effect of
gradually longer words can be very powerful. An example is seen in the first
two lines of the Hymn 'Immortal, Invisible [God only wise, in light]
Inaccessible...' I am convinced that this order is not accidental.
From: Kay Haugaard (kayhaugaard earthlink.net) I can't resist entering this "concrete" poem which in prosodic terminology is one in which the arrangement of the words and lines make a physical picture. In this case it is a Christmas tree. I know, also that at the trunk which is depicted by the names of Chinese poets, the lines diminish in length and therefore may not qualify as rhopalic although one could adjust that by cutting off the last four lines. AI POE GRAY DANTE HORACE KHAYYAM KALIDASA SOPHOCLES BAUDELAIRE SHAKESPEARE LI TU SU ARISTOPHANESQ. What is this curious list I see? A. The answer is plainly, "Poet - tree". The Poet Tree is composed of poets who not only have names of different lengths but who represent different cultures, namely: Ai - Japanese, Poe - American, Gray - English, Dante - Italian, Horace - Roman, Khayyam - Persian, Kalidasa - Indian, Sophocles - Greek, Baudelaire - French, Shakespeare - English, Li - Chinese, Tu - Chinesei, Su - Chinese, Aristophanes - Greek
From: Valerie Martinez (val-nicasio_mtz kastanet.org)
From: Robert Berend (tactile8888 yahoo.com)
From Mike Olshan (mikemovie hotmail.com)
From: Martha de Forest (deforest pacificwarriors.com)
From: Kathleen Beattie (kathleenbeattie1302 hotmail.com)
From: Jil Wrinkle (jilwrinkle yahoo.com)
From: Pete Dunne (dunnesgarden comcast.net)
From: Mary Nell Murphy (mmurphy uchicago.edu)
A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Language is not an abstract construction of the learned, or of dictionary
makers, but is something arising out of the work, needs, ties, joys,
affections, tastes, of long generations of humanity, and has its bases
broad and low, close to the ground. -Noah Webster, lexicographer (1758-1843)
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